Technology addiction. You have it. Your spouse has it. Your children have it. Your dog has it. Your dog’s spouse has it.
Remember? Before you got addicted to technology, you used to do wacky things like throw dog weddings. This is why everyone was so happy when you got addicted to technology, Gail. Who wants to spend $50 buying a present for Sparky and Miffy’s wedding? Also, who registers their dogs at Sur La Table? It’s ridiculous.
Dogs can’t cook, Gail, we know you were just keeping the presents for yourself.
There’s a lot we don’t know about technology addiction, but the one thing we know for sure is that it’s mostly Apple’s fault. Apple created the modern smartphone, after all, and the modern smartphone is the source of all ills. Q.E.D. with jelly on it.
