Turns out Apple isn’t a successful company after all! Surprise! Yep, it’s just a giant scam. Well, at least we know now. Before it got out of hand. Anyway, this will be The Macalope’s last column since the whole house of cards is tumbling down around us.
Writing for The New Republic, Alex Shepard tells us of“Apple’s Stock Market Scam.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @designheretic.)
Turns out it’s stock buybacks which are the only reason Apple made it to a $1 trillion valuation. And you thought it was the iPhone X. Ha-ha! Oh, Wallace. Will you ever learn? And will you ever stop wearing those ridiculous suspenders?! Ha-ha! You look like some sort of disco-dancing farmer.
